Things i did not tell you

 Hey. Just a night where i cudnt sleep. yes just because my body clock is changing right now. so..... yeah. nyways.... i just want to write tonight. what i am dealing here (*my heart)

I know im not supposed to think about this. But im sorry that i am a human so this thing keeps "running" in my mind. How to start this???

Most of us are in a relationship which means a relationship as normal couples out there. But do you guys have a deep conversation with your partner? Like talking about future, how to improve each others life, how to proceed to the next step (yeah since you guys is just a couple). Have you??? 

I dont know bout others but personally i think this DEEP CONVERSATION is important for a couple. In order to have a better relationship. Frankly speaking, i do not have a chance for this deep conversation. YES ! I know right. but yeahhh. I cudnt have a serious talk with my partner. 🙃 andddddddddddd the consequences are here. I am the one of the consequences. i keep thinking. and overthinking. i keep all to myself without telling him whats really happening to me. I triggered so easily. And sometimes i think to run away from him but at the same time i cant do that. i want to erase him like "delete" option in our lappy or computers. as easy like that! oh goshhhh! can someone invent that for me ? HAHAHA. I do love him. but i want to know where is US in the future. what is the assurance he can keep for me? who am i in his life? sampai bila kita nak mcm ni 😔 

Sorry for questioning like that. But i think i have to know. I am soo sorryy.